The bittersweet end

And so concludes the final days of the trail.. After taking those two full zeros in Seattle, it was finally time to tackle the very final miles of the trail, all 259 of them to be exact. I reunited with Wildflower in Snoqualmie, after not seeing her since Cascade Locks, and we committed to get to Canada together. So on September 3 we finally got (a late start) back to trail. We also decided to take the Goldmeyer Alternate to theoretically avoid the big climb out of Snoqualmie. The first miles until we reached Snow Lake were terribly crowded, probably due to it being Labor Day weekend, but after passing the lake we had the place to ourselves. The intermittent rain made the rocky trail slippery, and there were also quite a few logs to climb over in the trail, making for an interesting afternoon. We eventually reached the hot springs that made this alternate route appealing, but after sousing out the scene, and being told that the springs don’t even come up to your shoulders (which we later learned was a lie), we decided against the $20 camping, and posted up by the Snoqualmie River instead.

The next morning we were to finish the Goldmeyer Alternate, but this seemed to take much longer than originally planned for (I may have even gotten lost at Dutch Miller Gap for a bit). The alternate did provide for some interesting finds, however, in the form of an outdoor shower that truly seemed to be running for no particular reason. After finally reaching the PCT again, we were both relieved to be back on trail. The remainder of the day was rather nondescript, but the views were consistently beautiful. After getting water, we climbed up 3 miles to a tentsite that I foolishly chose because it wound up being a bit of a cold and wet night, but nothing we couldn’t survive.

Waking up on a chilly ridge, the knowledge that we’d be in town by evening motivated me to get going (it's so hard to get out of your sleeping bag when it's cold). We got to Deception Lakes for a snack, and ultimately I made the decision to take the Surprise Gap Trail, which was another foolish decision because it was a very steep and rocky descent back to trail, but it at least made for epic views of the valley. We got back to the trail and then reached Glacier Lake, where we decided to have lunch and dry out our gear on the rocks. We had lunchtime entertainment from some of the other hikers as they danced to warm up after jumping in the water. The miles after lunch were quick and we eventually got to Highway 2, where a quick hitch later had us in to Skykomish. We go to the Cascadia Inn and decided to splurge and stay here for the night. We had dinner with Poppy, Proton, and Dreamcatcher and then enjoyed the comforts of showers and a bed.

We had a slow morning the next day doing laundry and taking a 1.5 hour long breakfast as we all waited for the post office to open. After nearly having a meltdown thinking Clinic’s resupply package hadn’t arrived, I had just about completed scouring through hiker box food to make a resupply when we got a call saying his box had turned up. After finally resupplying and packing, we were off hitching using the sign from the deli. We got back to Steven’s Pass and off we went about 10 miles to Lake Janus. We called it a day here with a good water source and made dinner and passed out.

September 7 was a rival for my hardest day on trail with July 24. This particular morning we woke up in a drizzle, which was merely a precursor for the amount of rain to come. We knew we would need to keep moving to stay warm, so off we went. It quickly became one of those days where you wonder if you’ll ever be dry and/or warm again, and happiness fades quickly. After a while, Wildflower and I got down to our lunch spot, where we found Nightcap, Swag, Sour Rip, and Clinic for a brief reprieve from the rain. During lunch I was trying to think of highlights of my day thus far in order to tryyyy and maintain a positive attitude despite the rain, and I was able to attest to using my first wilderness toilet as my highlight (see below). But after lunch it was back at it with the rain starting again. I had to have frequent pep talks with myself to find the motivation to keep going. I eventually found my way to Reflection Pond where a crew of us camped for the night. I set up my stuff and crawled inside my tent wishing I was anywhere else, I didn’t even let myself journal this particular night out of fear of what I would write. All I kept thinking about was the scene from Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, where you could shoot red sparks to let the gamemakers know you want out – I wanted out. I realize the entry for this day is quite a downer, but it is these days that were obviously character building and imperative to my growth out here. This day tried to break me emotionally, and while in some ways it did, it also didn’t because I still managed to put one foot in front of the other and hike a full 26 miles. Looking back, it is these days that I’m most proud of myself for because these are the days where it wasn’t a walk in the park, because on the easy, sunny days anyone can hike the PCT I feel, but on these days you realllly have to want it.

I woke up the next morning after an intermittent night’s sleep to the sound of rain pattering on my tent walls, and I wondered how the hell I could bare another day of this and a sense of dread filled my being. Realizing that heading north likely equated to getting out of the rain motivated me to get my act together and get hiking. And much to my surprise, I realized it wasn’t even raining and the sound of drops on my tent was merely leftovers from the trees. The views this day were epic, and the low clouds that lingered made for great lighting on the mountains. The crew that I was hiking near/with all convened at a river crossing for lunch because the sun rays were beaming down and allowed us to dry out our things. After basking in the sunlight it was off again for some climbs before ultimately a long descent and finally calling it a night just off the trail in a precarious, but flat enough spot. This day was filled with lots of reminiscing on the day prior, and talking about how it pushed us all differently and what we walked away with. Wildflower kept saying that she had wanted one day of rain to appreciate the sunny days, so we all acknowledged that now that we’d had this one truly rainy day we would all be okay with not experiencing that again…

The next morning we were greeted by a friend of ours trying to do the 50-mile challenge, and while we questioned Sebastian’s sanity, Wildflower and I planned out our modest 26 mile day. We had amazing glacier views and Mount Baker views this morning keeping us entertained on our climb up. We also had an entertaining lunch with a section hiker, which always makes for good conversation. We slept at Miner’s Creek this evening, and despite my ever-persistent foot pain by this point, I knew I only had 5 more days til Canada!

We woke up the next morning inspired by an impromptu town day! We had originally planned to skip Lake Chelan, even forwarding our mail we had sent here on to the next town because we knew we would arrive after the post office closed. But once we did the math and we realized we had enough food to go here, and we kept hearing nothing but amazing things about how beautiful the lake was, we figured we couldn’t skip it! We got in our 23 miles just by 5:00 to make the last bus of the day to Lake Chelan. In the end, Lake Chelan was easily the most beautiful place I saw in all of Washington, and I can’t recommend it enough. The charm of this spot is that it is only accessible by foot or boat, eliminating a lot of traffic and keeping it quiet and peaceful. We were also lucky enough to arrive on the night of a wedding taking place on the lake, and between the wedding guests and the indulgent hikers this made for a super entertaining evening. This is a place I know I’ll go back to and spend a few days on the lake, starting my days at the amazing bakery, and enjoying day hikes in the North Cascades.

The next morning we woke up with beautiful views of the Lake and decided to give in to the temptation of breakfast in the restaurant. As it started drizzling again, all the hikers loaded up on to the bus to head back to the trail. First, however, came a stop at the infamous Stehekin Pastry Company. This bakery is talked about for miles on the trail with promises of the best baked goods ever! I will admit that I was leery of the accolades, as I assumed that the hype was all heightened by hiker hunger, and that while surely the desserts were good, they couldn’t be that amazing, I was wrong. The super cozy atmosphere of this spot, coupled with the friendliness of the staff, only enhanced the whole experience of the insanely awesome bakery. I scooped up a muffin and a cookie, and resisted getting more, but was so pleased! The hype of this place is real! Then as easily 30 of us got dumped back at the trail, I wasn’t mentally quite there and loitered about for a bit before realizing I would be in town again this night and needed to just start moving. This day was highlighted by food, as my lunch break was solely a bag of jalapeno kettle chips – the knowledge that I’d be done with the trail in 3 days left me feeling very inspired to overindulge in food in any and all ways possible while I still could. Then, as we arrived to Rainy Pass, we were greeted by Trail Magic as Animal and his crew was treating the hikers to so many goodies! I loaded my water bottle up with a gin and tonic, and decided to stick my thumb out to see if we could make it to the post office in time and the first car to see us pulled over. Dave and Theresa were our ride, and we couldn’t have gotten luckier as they were trail stewards and eager to help. They took us by Mazama to get our boxes (champagne and poppers for the border from Elloree), and then offered us to stay with them at their place in Winthrop and even said they’d take us back to the trail in the morning. Not being able to say no to this generosity, we were in Winthrop in no time with dinner, showers, laundry and great conversation. We shared hiking tales while admiring the view of the Sawtooth Mountains from their beautiful home.

We woke up in the guest house, packed up our things, had breakfast in the house, and then were off back to the trail with Theresa, but not without a stop at the bakery in Winthrop. Theresa got us all prepped for our final stint at trail, as the next time we were to be in town was in Canada! So with more baked goods in tow, and feeling very satisfied, we were inspired to get back on the trail. A side note – I had no idea how pretty the northern part of Washington was, and am eager to explore more of the towns in this part of the state some day as the drive from Winthrop back was so pretty! This day started with a climb up Cutthroat Pass, setting the tone for a beautiful day! I truly can’t say enough how impressive the Northern Cascades are, and I want to spend time getting to know these mountains more in depth. Then came Methow Pass and finally Glacier Pass rounded out the day. I had a cold ridge walk to finish out my hike to our tentsite, but with beautiful views of the moon keeping me company. Wildflower and I had a nice dinner and chat before crawling in our tents. I was all excited to sleep (as always out here) when instead I dealt with mice crawling on the roof of my tent… nereeeeemind!

The next morning was quite bizarre knowing it was our last full trail day/sleep. I was in a really good mood though knowing full well that I needed to embrace these final moments on trail. The views were epic this morning, the weather was perfect, and I was blissed out with the sun on my face. After a bit I was greeted with some trail magic at Harts Pass, and an apple was just what I needed to keep going this morning. Just as I was about to climb up Rock Pass, No Skip found me (after not seeing him for weeks) and we decided to finish the day together. We scooped up Wildflower at the last water source and we all did the climb together. It was really great doing the last pass as a group, and talking about our PCT experience. No Skip even did super brief interviews with us, which I thought was kind of cool. As we got to Woody Pass we posted up our tents, and had a final dinner with an absolutely stunning view. I eventually got into my tent, and it finally hit me and I felt very emotional that it was all to be over in just over 12 hours.

I woke up on September 14 truly feeling like it was Christmas morning! The anticipation that you got as a kid on Christmas day was exactly what I felt like this morning as I knew the only thing separating me from Canada was a mere 11 miles. I vowed to walk the first 9 miles solo so that I could reflect on my journey and feel all the feels. After my three hours of thinking and reminiscing, I was ready to meet back up with Wildflower and start freaking outtttt!!! Quite a few people that we’d been leapfrogging with over the past week were already ahead of us this morning, and as we got closer and closer we could hear their cheers and enthusiasm through the woods. The final moments were switchbacks down a hill, and as we got nearer and nearer I started squealing I was so excited! As we got to the monument the others had formed a tunnel for us to run through as we hit the border! We plowed through with our noise makers/blowers and started hugging everyone! So much smiling, pictures, poppers and champagne; it was truly a moment of pure joy. One of the other hikers we finished with this day was from Canada and she even led us in singing the Canadian national anthem. After the champagne was drank and we had our strategic photo shoots with the monument, we sat down and decided to have a quick lunch here. An hour went by eating and pulling swigs off of someone’s whiskey bottle and we finally decided we had to drag ourselves away because we still had another 9 miles to hike to Manning Park. Wildflower and I walked these miles together, with tunes blaring to help us ignore the heat. Finally reaching the road, we even got a hitch to the lodge where we then got our free hiker drink and had lunch with the others as it started to sink in that it was all over…

The next three days were spent in Vancouver enjoying this insanely beautiful city and even going out one night with a crew of hikers to a bar with a horrendous cover band. I finally had to drag myself away a few days later, and made my way to Missoula to see Sara for a week. I am not entirely sure how to capture the finality of this experience, especially as I am writing this now a full 4 months after being finished. People ask how the hike was and I am always at a loss for words because it was everything. In so many moments I couldn’t wait for it to be over, but as the end got nearer I never wanted it to stop. Choose an emotion, honestly any emotion, and I’m almost certain I felt that way at any one given (maybe many) moment(s) on the trail. I’ve never done anything more physically and equally mentally challenging in my entire life, and I can’t say enough how grateful I am to have been able to push myself in both of these ways. I tell everyone that I recommend the hike, but the caveat should be only if you’re really ready to see yourself in every different way. You’ll never feel dirtier, more exhausted, hungrier, confused, scared, alone, cold, hot and sweaty, but conversely you’ll never feel more energized, aware, elated, strong, confident, empowered, happy and alive.

People always ask two other questions – why did you hike the trail and would you ever do something like this again. The first question is a complex one for most, and I don’t know if I can give you a full answer other than I needed to do something completely for myself. The second question, however, is a funny one that a lot of hikers were asking each other as we were drawing nearer the border. I, unfortunately, was in a lot of pain at the end of the trail and the thought of doing another thru hike at the time seemed so far fetched. Almost immediately upon completing, however, I was ready to be doing another hike and living in the woods forever. I definitely missed trail life, and have had an interesting time re-acclimating to my life. So in short, yes, I suspect you’ll see me hiking another long distance trail at some point in my life.

What a crazy journey these 5 months of my life really were. As I said, to try and capture it all in words is truly impossible, but to everyone I spent time with during my hike, both on trail and off, thank you for your kindness and generosity, as you people made this trip what it was for me. I am in awe that 4 months have already gone by, and I don’t have much to say for myself for these past months other than mini-meltdowns about why I have to go back to real life, but I trust that whatever is next I will embark on with a new perspective that I gleaned during this experience. I learned so much, grew an immense amount, and learned just how strong I truly am. And to everyone back home who loved and supported me through this journey, thank you. I wouldn’t have gotten through the hike without all of you, as your presence was always felt. Fortunate doesn’t even begin to do justice to how I feel to have been able to have this experience, as these months have forever changed how I will carry myself in this world going forward. Oh, and thank you PCT!